December 18, 2009 - Everything & more..

I love him, in spite of him..

He is everything to me and more...being with him is so natural to me.  Devoting myself to him and his wants and needs always has and still feels so natural to me.  I want to take care of him and have him take care of me.

I loved to be in his arms, he held me so tightly...like he didn't want to let me go and I didn't want him to either.  It just feels right..

But I can't settle and neither can he.  I want love, companionship, acknowledgement..if he can't give that to me.  Be with me wholly......

I wanted him today, so much.  He wanted me too, but held back.  From all that I offer him.  I bring alot to the table and have so much more to give, I need it brought back to me.  He is everything that I want and everything that I need.  I am everything that he wants and needs, but he won't let himself go..

I'm not accepting of that anymore, he is not going to have me feel insecure about our relationship and me worrying anymore.

I love him with all my heart and soul.  It's hard for me to lay my emotions out in the open, but I have tried too with him.  I am afraid of the power he holds over my heart..

I'm happy that I saw him today, I'm glad that we talked with each other and were open with each other.